Why I Loathe Theatre Critics

I went to see a play on Saturday and I loved it. But what do I know? Well I did take my first job in professional Theatre 34 years ago. I'll tell you why I loathe critics.

They are a gang. A mob. They seem to enjoy mocking a show they don't like collectively. A certain well known critic decided to link, on his Twitter feed, 2 poor reviews for this particular play. Why do that? He's written his own so why the need to RT or link two bad reviews to his large audience. The critic in question happens to be a pompous cunt, so it's hardly surprising.

On top of this I then read a review which is a misogynist overload. An utterly vile attack on one of our finest actors. The man is clearly loaded with self loathing and felt the need to externalise this and heap it on someone who has more talent in her fingernails.

Now when a critic really goes to town he/she have the power to close a show. This costs jobs. This hurts people. Now I'm not saying you can't have bad reviews. This goes with the territory. The writer knows this. The actors know it. But the critic has no right to use a platform like Twitter to then appear to enjoy mocking the play with his small minded band of critic friends.

The actors have little right to reply. Nor does the writer really. Some of the shit they write is hurtful: they don't have to be hurtful. Just give the review without the daggers.

They tend to think their intellect is a cut above us plebs. They use references they all appear to copy. I doubt one of them has ever attempted to write a creative piece - a play - a script. Their snobbery stinks. I believe most of their bile comes from the fact that they can't write - create - act.

But like I said - what do I know?

This is what I know - a bad review can cost jobs - lots of jobs. I've been involved in shows which suffer at the knife of the critic and the show dies and everyone from the 'star' to the usher is suddenly unemployed. What a great profession the critic works in. I expect you will say "but the critic will make the show a success" ....bullshit - the show makes the show a success but a hatchet job by a critic can kill this possibility before it's had a chance to breathe.

Theatre needs to engage more with social media - some do and it's a great success - get the opinions of the punter out there. The audience on Twitter is huge -far bigger than this collection of bores with their pens of poison.

My whole mission on Twitter has been to have a voice away from the lucky minority elite who write for the mass media. I encourage you to do the same. We are the media now - the critics - real people with honest intentions.

The Theatre critic tends to play it safe with their painful to watch arse licking of the West End elite. It's sickening to read.

Tim - London - Feb - 2015