I Love You 2016 - Faux Grief and Wankers

I've purchased my tea light candles, my face paint, some supermarket flowers - I've adjusted my personality so that it allows me to fully experience the modern day trend of faux grief. All I need now is a vigil and a celebrity death so that I can fully experience the ruination of an entire year based on mourning folk I have never met and who I am quite sure wouldn't have wanted to know me.

2016 was written off quite early in the year with a string of deaths of the "great and good". 1000's of people have taken to social media to ask 2016 to go away or to please end as quickly as possible like 2016 is an actual person - trolling 2016 actually became a thing in 2016.

We can trace back the need to grieve publicly to the death of Diana in 1997 when a relatively small amount of people suffered a humiliating break down during the week after her death. The dignity of the British appeared lost in mountains of supermarket flowers and floods of misguided tears. 

I often ask myself why it is that I can't share in this "follow the leader" mass grief for strangers. 

The facts of the matter are these - the vast majority of us just get on with our lives : we are saddened by the deaths which make the news but we don't have the time nor energy to sit in a circle and partake in the latest sing-a-long of the song book of the dearly departed.

Social media is a tiny bubble and it's easy to get carried away with this idea that "everybody" is on social media. You only have to look at the trend stats on Twitter to realise that anything being spoken about on this particular site is only being seen by a tiny amount of the population. I don't know anyone in my small circle who uses Twitter. A big event on Twitter won't even register with Mr and Mrs average. 

We live in an age of the big statement - or is that the age of the empty platitude? If your life has been too seriously affected by the death of someone you've never met then maybe nothing bad has happened to you or you haven't lost anyone you really know.  You are lucky.

To write a whole year off based on the deaths of strangers is embarrassing - just look back at the film of the behaviour of folk after Diana died and you'll see what you look like now.

When Bowie died it appeared that the rent-a-mourner / vigil's are us mob only knew the words to Starman.....and this perfectly sums up this kind of person. 

I've loved 2016 - based on personal achievements - and when push comes to shove - that's all you'll ever be remembered for.

Tim 

The Death of Twitter -Blue Ticks - Fandom Cunts

I joined Twitter in March 2009 and my reasons were quite simple really - I am a very isolated person in terms of any social life and having friends and I wanted somewhere to share my thoughts and interests and somewhere where I could openly talk about my lifetime of chronic depression. Simple reasons. Normal ones.

I found many like minds - I sought out individuals who liked the same music, always a good start, you can tell much from what music someone listens to. I found folk who shared the same politics as me but I've never excluded anyone who doesn't - I am a fully grown adult, not a child. How dull the world would be if we all thought the same things.

Twitter back in 2009 was still mass media free - the mass media mocked Twitter back then and there were very few public figures or celebrities. It was a much better place than it is today and there are reasons as clear as day as to why this platform is in so much trouble and why "The End of Twitter" is being suggested on many media platforms. If they invite me to their London offices I will happily put more meat on the bones of what I am about to suggest are the main issues and why millions have deleted their accounts.

Firstly I want to make something clear - I left my job back in August because I was the victim of a mass troll attack on Twitter - You all know the story so I won't bore you with any more details. It would be easy to blame Twitter and part of me does - it fails to police these very large groups who are part of what I can only describe as fandom cults - morons with nothing better to do in life than masturbate over very average actors or someone from the Telly.

They have one purpose to be on social media and that is to hate on anyone who doesn't like the same actor, singer, TV personality. Their lives are so empty that they decide they will live their life through someone who, let's face it, wouldn't give them the time of day in the street. The type of person who festers in the fandom community tends to be a social outcast, so by design they tend to be unhinged and if they were not spreading their ugly hate on social media they'd no doubt carve up a class full of school kids. These morons do not belong in a creative space. They have Facebook to be cunts on. So these insane overly obsessed fandom types are one of the reasons why many folk I know on here have left.

Twitter allows millions to use photographs of famous people as their Avi picture - it is one of the reasons why the Blue Tick came into play but this causes its own problems. The Blue Tick is now a symbol of elitism. It singles out certain personalities and having a Blue Tick only enhances many of their already inflated ego's. Many use their Blue Tick 'power' to go after individuals who may oppose their view or folk who don't like them and publicly state as much in a Tweet so they then turn their masses of followers on you.

Arse licking your favourite public figure is a very sorry sight on Twitter so it's easy to get these devotees to turn on some poor cunt who tweeted he hates Sherlock or whatever it is this person is in or does for a living. The devotee is so blinded by fame that if their idol tweeted something like, "that Hitler, he wasn't so bad," the daft fucktards would be down their local book shop seeking out a copy of Mein Kampf.

The whole idea of Twitter was a place for folk to come who had had enough of the mass media and celebrity obsessed fame seeking cuntitude of our great Island. It was somewhere to laugh and joke about what the mass media were reporting - it was a place to take the piss out of the celebrity culture. Once the mass media realised Twitter was getting huge they all decided to join. As all other public figures but they brought with them their own demands. We want Blue Ticks to protect our image rights - We want Blue Ticks to separate us from the great unwashed. The Blue Tick is just an extension of many of their already out of control narcissism. But fundamentally it has created a Twitter elite.

There was something very Leftfield about Twitter in the beginning. It helped many a political cause, for good or bad. Used extensively during the Arab Spring and even mobilised the electorate in Spain to change the course of an Election the day before an Election. I myself was part of the Protest The Pope movement in 2010 and we were only expecting 6,000 to turn up but ended up with nearer 20,000 largely due to getting the message out on Twitter.

Now most of the political groups are vile on Twitter - they are nothing better than trolls. The liberal elite are fucking this place well and truly up the arse the same way they have done to free speech in our society. It's as if now you can not have a personal view. You have to check what you tweet for fear of some massive backlash. The hashtag has become a bullet. You can get accused of racism, islamaphobia, misogyny at any given minute. The effected feminist might chop your balls off for saying you fancy someone on the TV. It often makes me laugh that all of these groups come under the heading of Leftist but act like fascists. Add this to the fact that the mass media are pigs on Twitter and you can see why the masses are leaving.

I have still got more good out of it than bad though. I met my best friend on here and we have had a frienship lasting 5 years now. I have connected with many folk who I would not have met in 'real life'. I started Pinter Quotes nearly 5 years ago and this has been a fu hobby now followed by 30,000. I have been invited to plays, to films and I have found so many new writers to read because of Twitter.

It must not die. We just all have to make sure that we block all those accounts which annoy us. We have to have to go back to why we came here. It has helped me through many a lonely night. I am man enough to say I am a loner. And without Twitter I might not be here any-more. Expressing yourself during those Black Dog moments can be the difference between staying alive and taking an overdose. I do not suffer to that extent any more and I can put my hand on my heart and say that this because of Twitter.

It must not die.

Tim ....London 2016

Nana - a lady of our times

I've just finished Nana. It's hard to know where to begin to describe it. A sprawling masterpiece is a good start. It's incredibly graphic - loaded with promiscuous sex - it is gluttonous, full of angst and revenge - Nana could be perceived as a shallow and vacuous character if you read this book alone and don't understand where she came from so I'd recommend L'Assommoir first - I'd also read about her brother in Germinal -

Nana is very contemporary - a quite insignificant character with no discernible talent on the surface, yet she reaches the very top of society. In one sense she is a whore - a street prostitute - a promiscuous vapid tramp - in another she is the ultimate libertarian- a goddess - she uses her powerful sexuality to destroy men and make her fortune - somewhere deep inside her she is avenging her mothers misery and abject poverty - she is a working class warrior who uses her sex as a weapon of mass destruction against the sneering snobs of the "society" set.

Zola is known as the Dickens of France -this is a disservice to Zola- his writing is far greater - none of his characters are cartoon like - they are real - and messy - no one is going to come along and rescue these poor souls - I've found that Dickens sat on the fence politically - Zola doesn't - he loathes the 2nd Empire - he loathes the greed and injustice- he reaches into mythology and creates a Helen of Troy for Paris and France .....Zola writes of her sex as ...."a tiny slit, unmentionable and yet possessing the power to shift world's" ...that's her vagina if you haven't quite grasped it .....

All 400 plus pages are utterly compelling - the newly rebuilt Paris, the one we know today of rich wide boulevards, is the glamorous and seedy setting of this brilliant brilliant book which though written in 1880 is very much of today ....

Hang Mummy and Daddy - Why the British Left is Dead.

The Labour Party is currently bitch slapping itself as it attempts to elect a new leader. Should it remain centre or return to the Left proper?

I hate all the candidates so I'll keep my argument to an ideological one.

Leftism is a dirty word in Britain. Socialism is an even dirtier word. But neither are dirty words in Europe. Why?

The Left in Britain has never recovered from the late 70's and 80's. The Looney Left. The Trots - The Militants. Crack pot pseudo lefties who you'd see raising money for say The Lesbian Polo Team Collective in China. In short. Mad cunts. Nothing to do with the left at all.

We have this idea in Britain that everything the Right does is bad and everything the Left does is good. Which is bollocks. I think the reason why Leftisim still exists in Europe is because the model is a radical one. Politics is far more alive just over the Channel in France.

I like the French way. The extremes exist. The extremes are voted for. Followed. Loved. Just look at the FN. A far right party who are now in a position to possibly win the country. I loathe them, but the French are given a very clear choice. The media doesn't try to hide the extremists. It debates with them. The country moves between Right and Left on a regular basis. This is how it should be.

The Radical Left which exists over the water has ideas which we would consider to be Right over here. The Anti EU agenda is largely run by the Radical Left in many countries in Europe.

The Radical Left reacted in what would be considered a Right Wing way in Britain to the Charlie Hebdo attacks. Radical Secularism is very much rooted in the Left ideology but could appear Right over here. Example - you're a Muslim in full veil in public? - you are breaking the law. You will be heavily fined. And these ideals go back to the Revolution of 1789.

The British Left was hijacked many years ago by morons. By the Pseudo Left. Mummy and Daddy paid my Uni fees and I became a Marxist. I now want to hang capitalist Mummy and Daddy.

The spokespeople for the British Left are nearly always celebrities. Take Tony Robinson. He soon took the Sir gong. It's all about them. It's all about self promotion. Look at Brand. A hairy Jesus who always appears to be selling a DVD or Tour when he's making a big political noise.

The one candidate for the Labour Leadership who is of the Left is based in what was in the 1980's the self proclaimed Socialist Republic of Islingon. He was very much part of the Looney Left. Islington was Nuclear free - which meant the bomb wouldn't affect it - mad fuckers.

The "right on" brigade who now claim to be of The Left all tend to be London based. They wank each other off in Soho House and go Hipster dogging. Their self righteousness is what gets up my nose. Nobody serious can take these people who claim to be of the Left seriously. The Champagne Socialist is well and truly alive. I prefer the French expression. Gauche Caviar.

Yes the Left is dead in the UK. It is dead because it lost its way. It is owned by the rich and wealthy. It was fist fucked by Liberals.

The End. Fin.

TR - London 2015

Death of The Left -

Two things strike me about the General Election result. Londoners massively voted for Labour, and it is quite apparent that the idea of only toffs voting Tory is no longer an argument with any weight.

I'll give you an example and if the Labour Party really want a case study of an area where they should do very well, then South Thanet would be a great starting point.

It is largely a white working class area. It's an area that's really felt the brunt of the immigrants from Eastern Europe due to it's proximity to Dover. Labour has to ask itself why that kind of voter has deserted them.

The politically correct view of a multi cultural society is very much a London thing. I know many many fair minded folk who don't have a racist bone in their body but they are sick and tired of having the race card played on them because they have a view of mass immigration.

And it is this ultra liberal metropolitan nonsense which has killed off the Left country wide.

The PC brigade have taken the role of The Thought Police. There's a massive difference between calling someone a vile name, say the N or P word, to what the PC brigade will claim is racist. We all walk about worrying about what we can and can't say. Is it correct? Will I lose my job over it? Will I be seen as a racist or a homophobe? No wonder folk are uptight.

Leftisim has been hijacked by a Metropolitan liberal elite. Mainly what I call "right on" worthy types. Being right on and worthy has nothing to do with Leftisim. Labour has clung to celebrity for far too long. In recent elections there's been a trend to wheel out a group of famous folk who will be backing Labour - this is very much an American idea. Tell me. If someone is struggling to put food on the table do you really think they give a fuck what Steve Coogan thinks?

Most of those who come out and bang the Labour drum are comfortably off - so how is it that they will reflate to ordinary folk. That's not to say we don't want rich folk supporting Labour - we just don't need to hear about it - evangelisim is cuntish.

I don't think it's a bad thing that the Tories got in. A coalition is not us. It will also focus minds and create a proper opposition. Labour has been a soft Tory option for too long. When it comes to ideology, how can anyone possibly relate to the son of a Marxist millionaire? How can a Marxist millionaire even exist? Mummy and Daddy paid for so many of the metropolitan liberal elite to become Marxists or Anarchists.

Freedom of speech, and even the freedom to offend, has been stifled by fascists in the UK. Look to Charlie Hebdo - a radical left wing satirical comic - when the fascists came to try and murder all that work for it it just got stronger. Of course you have the right to laugh at Islam when you live in a secular society - but here ? Even this view will have me branded an Islamaphobe.

As a Lefty I believe Islam is out of control in the UK because we allow the religious far too much freedom of expression in public - religion is a private matter - it should be kept that way. I very much support the banning of certain religious dress as in France.

As a Lefty I want us out of the EU - and as quickly as possible.

Neither of those views make me a racist or an Islamaphobe- both those views validate my Leftisim. You didn't hear folk calling Tony Benn a racist for being anti EU. And it is also the job of the Left to promote a secular society - we are not even close to one of those.

Tim - London - May 2015

3 Cunts and a Funeral - General Election

The lead up to next weeks General Election should be one of the most exciting in years - but in truth it is drab, uninspired, loaded in apathy, and frankly more than a bit shit.

I'm often reading on social media how outraged folks are by the past 5 years of coalition but the truth is that most people are non plussesd, are ok with their lot, and it appears that the country is not in the state that the Internet revolutionary would have us believe.

If things really were as bad as these plastic lefties tell us then there would be one party way out in front with a promise of sweeping change.

Sadly this is how I think it will play out - The Tories will win with a small minority and will run with it. Chances of two Elections in one year are slim. No one will really care.

So will there be a mass protest at this outcome ? No - Will 2 million pile down to Parliament and demand change and not budge until change has been achieved? No.

I'm often reminded of the march of the 2 million in London prior to the invasion of Iraq in 2002. I'm often told that this demonstration proved that nothing changes even when you protest in these numbers. Bollocks.

The reason it didn't work as a demonstration is because everyone went home on that same Saturday evening. The 2 million didn't occupy Parliament Sq until the Government heard them and changed direction. No. Everyone went home.

They went home because home isn't so bad. They didn't really believe in preventing an invasion. They were part of a snow ball effect. They were no better than the mass of nut jobs who sat round fucking trees after Diana had died. They saw the flowers being placed in Kensington Gardens and thought, " I'm having some of that."

The problem with the British voter but particularly the English is, well, the English. An apathetic bunch who are largely politically impotent and find it easier to blame immigrants for all their problems rather than having a long look in the mirror.

Politics is dead here. Ok there are a few fringe movements but folk really can't be that arsed. They can't be arsed beause they are ok. It's not that bad. The foodbanks, the fucked up hospitals, the shit education system - this is all someone else's problem. I'm alright Jack - the selfishness of a selfish nation - vapidity and self interest rule.

You look at the media and 3 cunts look back at you - if you put your jumpers down as goalposts and picked two captains to pick two Football teams from a group of 20 no one, and no one, would pick Cameron, Clegg or Miliband. Not even as the fat kids who went in goal. These 3 men couldn't inspire anything in anyone. Is this really all we have?

The nation is at a massive funeral but doesn't know it.

15 million who could have voted in the last GE didn't bother. When you consider The Tories received 11 Million votes then this is a serious number suffering from apathy. But I've little doubt that many of those 15 million vote for X Factor and BGT shitters.

I'm from a class where it has never mattered who's in power. Either way we get shafted sans lube.

I'll go to the ballot box because I always have. I was brought up right.

My hope is not in the proles or polls - it's in my belief that the TV coverage will be good next Thursday and that I will go to bed  with less self loathing than a normal weekday because I will have spent all my hate on those appalling wankers we call politicians.

Happy Voting.

London 2015 

Why I Loathe Theatre Critics

I went to see a play on Saturday and I loved it. But what do I know? Well I did take my first job in professional Theatre 34 years ago. I'll tell you why I loathe critics.

They are a gang. A mob. They seem to enjoy mocking a show they don't like collectively. A certain well known critic decided to link, on his Twitter feed, 2 poor reviews for this particular play. Why do that? He's written his own so why the need to RT or link two bad reviews to his large audience. The critic in question happens to be a pompous cunt, so it's hardly surprising.

On top of this I then read a review which is a misogynist overload. An utterly vile attack on one of our finest actors. The man is clearly loaded with self loathing and felt the need to externalise this and heap it on someone who has more talent in her fingernails.

Now when a critic really goes to town he/she have the power to close a show. This costs jobs. This hurts people. Now I'm not saying you can't have bad reviews. This goes with the territory. The writer knows this. The actors know it. But the critic has no right to use a platform like Twitter to then appear to enjoy mocking the play with his small minded band of critic friends.

The actors have little right to reply. Nor does the writer really. Some of the shit they write is hurtful: they don't have to be hurtful. Just give the review without the daggers.

They tend to think their intellect is a cut above us plebs. They use references they all appear to copy. I doubt one of them has ever attempted to write a creative piece - a play - a script. Their snobbery stinks. I believe most of their bile comes from the fact that they can't write - create - act.

But like I said - what do I know?

This is what I know - a bad review can cost jobs - lots of jobs. I've been involved in shows which suffer at the knife of the critic and the show dies and everyone from the 'star' to the usher is suddenly unemployed. What a great profession the critic works in. I expect you will say "but the critic will make the show a success" ....bullshit - the show makes the show a success but a hatchet job by a critic can kill this possibility before it's had a chance to breathe.

Theatre needs to engage more with social media - some do and it's a great success - get the opinions of the punter out there. The audience on Twitter is huge -far bigger than this collection of bores with their pens of poison.

My whole mission on Twitter has been to have a voice away from the lucky minority elite who write for the mass media. I encourage you to do the same. We are the media now - the critics - real people with honest intentions.

The Theatre critic tends to play it safe with their painful to watch arse licking of the West End elite. It's sickening to read.

Tim - London - Feb - 2015